


Confusing Words, Confusing Times

by seibelsays



Series: Blessings and Curses [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 09:30:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17342828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seibelsays/pseuds/seibelsays
Summary: How Steve came to know Bucky's Words and met his soulmate.***A Blessings and Curses prequel.





	Confusing Words, Confusing Times

**Author's Note:**

> This is set well before Blessings and Curses. You don’t need to read that to follow this story, but I’d love you forever if you did.

_~*1930*~_  
“Look at this runt! Too dumb to know he’s beat!”

The older boy took another swing. Steve’s vision went white and blurry around the edges as his fist connected. Steve fell back and braced himself for the kicks he knew were coming.

But they didn’t.

“Hey, why don’t you mind your own business?” the boy yelled towards the end of the alley, where it opened to the street.

“It _is_ my business,” an unfamiliar voice said. 

Steve opened his eyes to see a new boy swing take a swing at the lead bully. The new boy’s fist connected and the bully went down - hard.

“Watching you shake down little kids every day is making me nauseous.”

Using the distraction of the new kid, Steve climbed to his feet and grabbed the first thing at hand. He brought the trash can lid down over the head of one of the other bullies, who cried out in surprise and pain. The gang ran off, sprinting down the alley and back into the street.

“Hah!” the new boy yelled after them. “Bullies always run true to form - and I do mean run.”

“I woulda worn them down eventually,” Steve snapped.

“Yeah, when they died of old age,” the boy smiled.

Steve’s temper flared. Who did this kid think he was? He had it handled. He’d been doing just fine on his own. He didn’t _need_ this kid to come and save him.

“Maybe you wanna go a round or two, too?” he yelled, pulling himself into a fighting stance.

The boy held up his hands in surrender. “Whoa! I come in peace.”

Both boys slowly lowered their hands. Steve saw the new boy’s face settle into a good-natured grin, which sent Steve’s temper flaring again. 

“If you’re tryin’ to get in my good graces because I said your Words, you can save it. You didn’t say mine.”

The boy shook his head and rubbed his wrist. “No Words here, pal.”

“Oh.”

“Never even occurred to me to stand up to those bums until I saw a shrimp like you do it,” he said, his smile growing.

Steve still wasn’t entirely sure that this kid wasn’t laughing at him, but he supposed he could take him at his word. For now. He tentatively held out his hand. “Steve Rogers.”

The boy took it and gave it a solid shake. “James Buchanan Barnes. My friends call me Bucky.”

***

 _~*1932*~_  
“How old do you think you’ll be?” Steve asked as they wandered the neighborhood. It was a nice day, sunny and not too hot. He would take advantage of the weather while he could - soon it would be too cold and he wouldn’t be able to breathe well outside.

“When?”

“You know. When you meet your soulmate.”

Bucky didn’t answer, just shoved his hands in his pockets and kept walking.

“My ma was little,” Steve continued, “said she met my dad when she was 6 and he was 8. Crazy huh? Just a kid and you already know who you’re gonna spend your life with.”

“My parents aren’t soulmates,” Bucky replied quietly.

“Oh,” Steve said, his brow furrowed. “How’s that work?”

“I dunno, Steve, you’ve seen ‘em. They’re my parents.”

“Well. I don’t want to meet mine anytime soon. I want to have done something first, you know? Something important, that they could be proud of.” He would have to make himself stand out somehow, with Words like his.

“You stand up to bullies all the time. That’s somethin’ to be proud of.”

“You know what I mean. I want to do my part.”

Bucky shook his head. “Don’t know what your sudden obsession with soulmates is about,” he muttered.

“I just…” he voice trailed off as he thought about it. “I want to be ready.”

***

 _~*1935*~_  
Steve watched as Bucky smirked at the two girls in line ahead of them. The smirk was a little too sharp to be friendly, and while the girls giggled slightly, they both resolutely turned their backs. Bucky shook his head good naturedly.

“Guess I gotta work on that,” he said.

“Yeah,” Steve replied casually, “wouldn’t want your soulmate thinking you’re some sort of feral wolf, now would ya?”

Bucky’s smile turned brittle. “Soulmate. Yeah. Guess I never thought of that - could meet them at any time. Wouldn’t do to scare ‘em off before we got to talkin’.”

“You ever wonder -”

“No.”

***

 _~*1940*~_  
Bucky threw open the door to the apartment and tossed the newspaper on the table before sinking into the couch with a sigh. 

“You heard?” Steve asked.

“Yeah. What a world.”

They sat in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Finally, the question that had been bubbling in Steve’s mind all day finally forced its way out.

“Hey Buck? You ever wonder…”

Bucky raised his head to look at Steve. “Wonder what, pal?”

Steve sighed. “What if your soulmate’s over there somewhere? Stuck in hell.”

“You still believe in all that? Soulmates?”

Steve furrowed his brow. “‘Course I do. Don’t you?”

Bucky rubbed his left wrist as he stared out the window, drawing Steve’s eyes. Bucky always wore long sleeves, had since they were kids. It never occurred to Steve that maybe Bucky’s Words were hidden there. He’d never thought about Bucky’s Words at all.

“I don’t know what to think anymore,” Bucky muttered. “World’s gone crazy.” He chewed on his lip and glanced at Steve. 

The look on his face was concerning. It had been a long time since Steve hadn’t been able to read Bucky’s thoughts just from his expression - half the time he was convinced they shared a brain. (It only made sense that they did really - if he was honest, Steve knew that Bucky was about 90% of his impulse control.)

“I’m gonna do somethin’, Steve. And you’re probably not gonna like it.”

“What-”

Bucky pulled up his sleeve, once again drawing Steve’s eyes. With his poor vision, at this distance he could only make out a dark smudge wrapped around his friend’s wrist, but he saw enough to know what Bucky was doing. He leapt out of his chair and turn around.

“What the hell, Buck! You can’t just go around showin’ people. It’s...it’s not right.”

Steve heard the creak of the springs in the couch as Bucky slumped further into it, but he resolutely kept his back to his friend. What the hell was Bucky thinking? He couldn’t just _show him_ his Words. It was so beyond inappropriate. What would Bucky’s soulmate think if they knew? He didn’t want to be the cause of a fight between Bucky and his soulmate - not now, not ever.

“Steve, I just…” Bucky’s voice trailed off. “Nevermind. It’s stupid.” 

The tone of Bucky’s voice pulled Steve back, forcing him to look at his friend. “What is it?”

Bucky shook his head and gave him a slow grin. It was forced and brittle and broke Steve’s heart. “Momentary lapse of sense. Won’t happen again.” Bucky got up and motioned to the other room. “I’m goin’ to bed.”

Steve watched as Bucky left the room, wondering what in the world had just happened.

***

Later, Steve peeked in to see if Bucky was asleep. From his spot in the hall, he could see that Bucky was still awake, tracing what had to be his Words over and over and over again with his finger. His expression was pained - and confused. Whatever Bucky’s Words were, they brought him no comfort.

Steve knew a little something about that. 

He also knew that he’d been an absolute ass earlier. Bucky had needed him and he’d turned his back. What kind of friend was he?

He made to move into the room, to talk to Bucky, say something that might make this better. Bucky heard the noise and quickly, silently, scrambled under the covers and pretended to be asleep.

Steve sighed. In the morning then. He’d make this right in the morning.

***

The next morning, Bucky barely grunted in Steve’s direction as he puttered around their small kitchen making himself some breakfast. 

He sighed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He’d stayed up way too late, tossing and turning, trying to figure out how to fix this. He had no idea why Bucky would want to show him his Words, but Steve’s reaction had clearly hurt him deeply. That didn’t sit right with him at all. Bucky was his best friend - his brother, really. Something was clearly bothering Bucky about his Words and if they couldn’t share this with each other, who the hell else could they share it with?

Why was sharing your Words with someone other than your soulmate such a taboo anyway?

“Buck,” he said, and waited until he had the other man’s attention. After a moment, Bucky looked at Steve. 

Steve silently pulled the collar of his shirt to the side, revealing the mark that had rested against his collarbone since birth.

_Hi._

Bucky’s eyes flicked to the mark, then back up to meet Steve’s eyes. Gratitude was written all over his face. He walked over to Steve, knowing he wouldn’t be able to read Bucky’s mark from their current distance, and pulled up his sleeve.

Steve peered down at Bucky’s wrist, turning it slightly to read the words wrapping around his wrist.

_Soulmate or not - I love you, Bucky Barnes._

“Holy shit,” Steve muttered.

“Yeah.”

“Bucky…” Steve wasn’t even sure what to say. How in the world would the _very first words_ someone said to Bucky be a declaration of love? He wasn’t one to question the universe, and he knew better than anyone that Bucky was _deserving_ of such affection, but...it was a little crazy to think that someone who had only just met him would recognize that. 

“They’ve been drivin’ me crazy for years, Steve. Who in their right mind just...says somethin’ like that to someone they just met?” Bucky’s eyes were a little wild and Steve could see the hint of tears forming there. “Are they...does the universe joke? Am I a joke?”

“No,” Steve said fervently. “Buck, no. Never.”

Bucky traced his Words with a fingertip. “There’s no way,” he muttered. “No way.”

“Hey,” Steve said, then waited until Bucky dragged his eyes up to meet his. “If anyone deserves Words like that, it’s you, okay? I’m just glad the universe saw fit to make sure someone out there realizes it.”

Bucky stared at him for a minute and Steve thought he might have seen his friend’s lip tremble slightly. Maybe it was a trick of the light. Bucky nodded, then his face crumpled as his eyes fell to Steve’s collarbone.

“What about you, Stevie?”

“I’ll be alright.”

“How will you-”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Guess I just gotta have faith the universe will sort it out.”

***

If Steve noticed that Bucky slung his around around Steve’s neck more often, shifting his shirt and exposing his Words just enough that someone about Bucky’s height could see them, he never commented.

***

 _~*1943*~_  
“Let’s hear it for Captain America!”

As the crowd around them cheered, Bucky gave him a grin and a friendly shove to the shoulder. He gripped his shirt slightly, causing it to shift. Bucky’s eyes flicked down to Steve’s Words and frowned slightly that they were still dark.

Steve shook his head at him. He stolen Bucky away from him captors, who had done god knows what to him, then put him at the front of a 30 mile march back to an Allied camp. He should be looking for a doctor or a bed or asking Steve a thousand more questions about how he was suddenly taller. Instead, Bucky was once again checking to make sure Steve hadn’t somehow met and missed his soulmate.

***

 _~*1945*~_  
Steve sat alone in the bombed out wreckage of the bar and poured himself another drink.

Bucky was…

He was…

Steve knocked back the drink and poured another.

Bucky was gone. 

He threw back this drink too and poured yet another.

Bucky was gone. It was all Steve’s fault. And he couldn’t even get drunk over it.

He peered into the glass, as though the caramel-colored liquid held the answers to the questions that were swirling in his head. He forced himself to take a deep breath and take a small sip of the liquor this time. It was Bucky’s favorite after all - and he’d always insisted that it was to be enjoyed, not wasted chasing a buzz.

His Words itched something fierce. Steve quickly loosened his tie and popped a few buttons so he could drag his nails across them. A moment later, he pulled back his hand and saw blood. 

_Good._

He’d inadvertently clawed away his Words. Words that had never brought him comfort his entire life - Words that he’d be happy to be rid of now.

Maybe his soulmate would disappear into the ether. Maybe they’d pass on the street and never know they’d met until much later, when it was far too late to retrace their steps back to where they’d met. 

If Bucky would never hear the strange words that looped around his wrist, he didn’t want to hear his either.

***

 _~*2011*~_  
If this was a joke, he wasn’t laughing.

Steve took in the sight of Times Square around him. He had to wonder if this was his penance for thinking the way he had about his Words, about the universe, about his soulmate.

70 years. Surely, his poor soulmate was long gone by now.

_Hi._

His chest constricted at the thought of his Words. He wasn’t so sure that tiny greeting would be so unwelcome now.

***

“Agent Romanoff,” Phil Coulson nodded to the red-headed woman approaching the Quinjet. “Captain Rogers,” Coulson continued, in way of introduction.

“ _ **Ma’am**_ ,” Steve greeted.

“ _ **Hi**_.” 

Steve pulled up short and tried not to gape at Agent Romanoff. She shifted her weight slightly under his gaze and wouldn’t meet his eyes. Unconsciously, he reached up and scratched lightly at his collarbone.

She didn’t look at him, but as they walked to the bridge he noticed she made a similar motion to touch her own collarbone. He could barely take in the sight of the bridge around him, waiting for her to turn back around. The collar of her shirt was wide enough to expose her skin, and there was no mark there. 

Wait.

She finally turned, and his enhanced eyesight noted the makeup carefully covering a small spot just above her collarbone. Maybe the light on the bridge was different than on the deck, but to his eye, the color had shifted slightly - as though it had been covering a dark spot that was now much lighter in color.

_Soulmate._

***

“There’s aliens falling from the sky, Rogers. You really wanna have this conversation now?”

***

Steve stopped just outside of the room where Agent Romanoff was tending to Agent Barton. He knew he shouldn’t listen in on their conversation, but he also needed to know if he could rely on them to carry out his plan. They were Fury’s people, after all, and he didn’t know how deep their loyalty ran. They might not want to go against their boss, even if the world hung in the balance.

“I’ve been compromised,” Romanoff said, her voice flat.

“You _think_ you have a debt, Nat. You don’t.”

“It’s not just that.”

Barton hesitated. “What then?”

She sighed. “Someone said my Words.”

There was a long enough pause that Steve had to wonder if Barton had passed out again.

“Whose ass do I need to kick?”

Another silence and then Barton burst out laughing.

“It’s not funny,” Romanoff said.

“Oh trust me, Nat. It’s hilarious.”

***

Steve stared up into the sky, where the rainbow lights that had whisked Thor and Loki back to their home planet where rapidly fading.

“That was different,” Agent Romanoff - Natasha - said, her voice flat.

Steve looked down towards her. “So this isn’t normal, then?” 

Her lips quirked into a smile. “It’s a whole new universe, I suppose.”

“At least I’m not the only one adjusting anymore.”

She hummed, but otherwise said nothing. 

“What’s next for you then?” he asked.

“SHIELD’s got plenty of cleanup to do. But I’ll probably hide out for a bit - there was a little too much news coverage of this one for my taste.”

“Want company?”

She shifted her weight slightly. “Rogers - Steve.” Her face was tight, like she didn’t quite know how to say what she was thinking. “The whole...thing…”

“The soulmates thing?”

“Yes. That.”

“What about it?”

“I never bought into it,” she admitted. “Too fairytale.”

“Okay,” he said, easily. “That’s fine. Can I still take you out to dinner?”

She blinked. “What?”

“I’d like to take you out to dinner. If that goes well, maybe a second dinner. Then maybe a movie. And so on.”

“But-”

“You’re one of the only people I know in this century. And...not all that long ago, relatively speaking, I had decided that I never wanted to hear my Words anyway.” He shook his head. “It’s just dinner. Being soulmates doesn’t have to come into it.”

“Never pegged you for a non-believer,” she hedged.

“Yeah well, me either. But here we are.”

“Alright. Dinner.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

“You’re gonna have to pick - I’m sorta new in town and don’t know anywhere to go,” he commented, his voice dry as the desert.

A small smile crept across her face. “I know a place.”

“Great.”

A short, comfortable silence settled between them.

“This is probably a bad idea.”

He grinned. “Don’t you know your history? My life has been nothing but a _series_ of bad ideas.”

She smiled back at him. “Tomorrow then,” she said, then turned and walked away.

He briefly watched her go, then turned and headed for his motorcycle. He started climbed on as the others disappeared, but didn’t start the engine just yet.

He popped a few buttons on his shirt and pulled his collar to the side. His Words had settled into a light silver color. He pulled his collar a little more, exposing his Words to the sky as he looked up.

“See that, Buck? I found her. Looks like you didn’t have to worry after all.” He tugged his shirt back into place and started the engine. The familiar ache of loss settled into his chest as he thought about Bucky, but the sharp sting of it had lessened ever so slightly. 

The world he knew was gone. His best friend was gone.

But in the universe had sent him his soulmate to help him in this strange new world and he had to admit - the universe might just know what it was doing.

**Author's Note:**

> Steve and Bucky meet the same way they do in the CA:TFA prelude comic First Vengeance. I loved the idea that Bucky was inspired by tiny Steve.


End file.
